|the_water_clock (the_water_clock) wrote,|
@ 2002-11-05 11:43 pm UTC
|Current music:||[insert clever Sondheim reference here]|
|Entry tags:||[ canon: harry potter other ], [ pairing: harry/draco ]|
Title: The Large Scale Structure of Space-Time
Pairing: Harry Potter: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Summary: Can you create a wormhole through the power of your Great and T00by Love™? Harry and Draco manage, and it's up to Seamus and Dean to repair the damage. Contains references to Love Under Will.
Length: 800 words
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Notes: NOT part of the EWFS-verse.
Happy birthday, dear Aja! Thanks for making me feel so welcome on LJ when I first toddled over here, and being a joyful thing in general. I hope you had a great day!
Heedless of the fact they could be discovered at any moment, they fell back against the floor of the landing, skin scraping on cold stone as they kissed, their bodies urgently pressed together. ...
Underneath Harry, his moans rang through the entire castle; he didn't care. All that mattered was that Harry had come back, Harry was still his; still the one he worshiped and hated and adored and couldn't do without. His eyes watered from pure emotional release; tears streaked his face when at last they collapsed against each other, spent but unwilling to be separated. Harry's arms were locked around him tighter than a Chinese finger-trap, and Draco was beside himself, if only because the idea that Harry wanted to be inside him, inside him in every way, suddenly seemed like the greatest, most terrifying miracle he'd ever known.
Suddenly, he heard an unmistakable brogue. "Christ Jesus, they're at it again. And on the bloody landing."
Harry and Draco, shocked back to reality, flew apart and frantically grabbed for their discarded clothing.
"I reckon," Seamus continued, "that if you two had any idea how many drunken Gryffindors have purged on this very landing, you would have at least spread a robe out underneath you."
"But then they'd get the robes dirty," Dean pointed out.
"Wait," Harry interrupted. "Please, you have to promise not to tell anyone what you saw." His eyes were wide and his breath came in gasps, though from fear of discovery or from his recent activity Seamus couldn't be sure.
Draco nodded. "My father will kill me. Literally."
Seamus smiled slightly, then said, "We can't tell anyone. We're not really here. Or rather, you're not really here."
"What?" Harry asked, confused.
"We're not even in your story," Dean said. "So there wouldn't be anyone for us to tell."
"I'm still not following."
Seamus squatted so that his head was level with those of the other two boys. "You two have to stop all this fucking. It's causing problems."
Draco scowled, holding Harry's hand tighter. "What sort of problems?" he asked.
"You're ripping through the space-thingum."
Dean let out an annoyed sigh before joining the others on the stone floor. "Space-time continuum, Shay."
Seamus airly waived one hand at Dean. "Right, whatever."
Harry was still confused. "What are you saying?"
"All this shagging you two are doing is affecting all the other stories in the fandom. This little episode has caused you to fall out of Love Under Will entirely."
Draco gasped. "If we're not in our own story, then where are we?"
"Well, at the moment you're in Eight Ways from Sunday," Dean explained, "but you've been sighted all over the Draco Trilogy, and you're starting to leak through into The Paradigm of Uncertainty."
Seamus nodded. "That whole scene in the dungeon--now Harry's sharing a cell with Draco instead of Hermione."
"Seamus!" Dean warned. "Spoilers!"
"What?" Seamus asked. "Don't these people read het? Ever?"
"But how are we doing this, exactly?" Harry asked.
Seamus rolled his eyes as he spoke, sounding like he was reciting something from memory. "The awesome power of your Great and T00by Love™ is gradually causing every fanon Harry and Draco to follow suit."
"Eventually," Dean said, "all the characters in every fanfic will be gay, and then where will we be?"
Seamus shuddered. "I can't stand those all-gay universes. There's never enough lube."
"What if we don't want to stop?" Draco asked.
"You must! You're starting to affect canon!" Seamus wailed.
"Canon? How?" Harry asked.
"Why do you think book 5 is so late?" Dean said. "Every day JKR sits down to write a boy's adventure tale, and ends up with pages upon pages of young gay love."
Seamus looked very serious. "If you don't stop," he warned, "we will be fifteen for the rest of our lives."
This, at last, had an impact on the pair. "Can we shag sometimes?" Harry asked.
"Of course," Dean answered as he and Seamus stood. "Just take a break already."
Harry and Draco finished dressing. "What I want to know," Draco said as he adjusted his trousers, "is why they sent the two of you."
"We're the ones least affected," Seamus said. "We're in the background of most stories, so what you're doing doesn't hurt us. Please, you think they'd send Ron?"
Harry nodded. "So, how do we get back to our own story, then?"
"Easy," Dean said. "Just express indifference, and the effect will be reversed."
"Isn't hate the opposite of love?" Harry asked.
"No!" Seamus said. "That's how we got into this mess in the first place!"
Harry turned to Draco. "So, Draco Malfoy. Whatever." He shrugged.
Draco replied, "Yeah. Harry Potter. Big deal."
With those words, the air on the landing began to rush, and Harry and Draco vanished (presumably back to their own story, although some have seen them lurking about in The Joining of the Three).
"Well, our work here is done," Seamus said. He looked up at his boyfriend. "Fancy a shag?"
Dean grinned. "Why not?"